In 2 hours, I'm turning 30. I'll admit it, I'm freaking out a little bit.
Lately it seems like it’s a fad to write articles about entering this decade of life. Maybe it’s just because it's happening to me soon, and so they’re actually catching my attention. Either way, they seem to be either trying to make a person feel good about this milestone by listing with over-the-top enthusiasm, all the reasons it’s way better than your 20’s…or, pointing out all of the really depressing things about no longer being in your 20’s. I have definitely been spotting the good and bad myself, and also some things that I’m still not sure how I feel about. They may not be the same for everyone, but they’re definitely true for me. So, while it might be the trendy thing to do right now, here is my list of pros/cons and other tidbits I’ve noticed about turning 30:
1. Your Christmas wish lists look really different.
This year, mine consists of: a new vacuum and dishes. Woo-hoo, exciting! My “secret” wish list also has two items: no credit card debt, and a husband. Don’t you wish they were that easy to get? Like, you could go to Aisle 5 at the local hardware store and pick up a husband?
2. There’s no way of escaping the word “thirty”.
I’ve started to realize, when people ask how old you are, even if you’re 29, you still get to start by saying “twenty” which makes you sound younger because no matter what number comes next at least you’re still in your twenties. Where as when the word “thirty” comes out of your mouth, it doesn’t matter whether the next number is a 1 or a 9…you’re still in your 30’s. This bums me out a little bit.
3. Your social life is dwindling, even if you’re still single – because most of your friends are married and have families.
The few friends I have left who are not married have significant others not to mention busy lives, so I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to go out on a Friday night, and literally texted everyone in my contacts list to try and find a buddy to go out with, but still ended up sitting alone on my couch watching Disney movies all night instead.
4. You have nice stuff now.
Chances are, you finally have enough dough to get a nicer place, whether it’s a better apartment or buying your first home. And you finally traded in that old, beat up, used POS for a REAL car. You even have art on your walls and matching furniture in your house instead of garage sale items or hand me downs. Hooray!
5. People actually care what you think.
I have realized that with age and experience, my opinion has started to become more valuable. Recently I was asked to be on a special committee for my church. Because I still feel like I’m 16, my initial reaction was “why would they want me on this team? Why would they care what some kid thinks?” I had to remind myself that I was now an intelligent adult woman, whose thoughts positively contribute to my church community. It was an eye-opener.
6. You are starting to sound more like your mother than yourself.
Which is probably why people will actually listen to you now. She was always right about everything and much wiser than you’d like to admit.
7. Everyone looks younger.
I am still young enough that high school and college still don’t feel that long ago for me. I still feel like a teenager myself much of the time. So it boggles my mind when I actually get a good look at these kids – college students look young, high school kids look 12, and Jr. High kids are practically toddlers. Seriously. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 14, and I remember how mature I felt then. When I look at the 14 year olds I work with now in my church, I am horrified that I was even dating at that age. They really are children still.
8. You are having more and more “freak out” moments where you feel old.
Like when they re-release Jurassic Park in theatres in 3-D and you realize you saw it in the theatre when it originally came out TWENTY YEARS AGO. Also, that kid you used to babysit when he was a newborn is graduating high school now. Yikes.
9. You understand how your parents can be 60, but feel 30.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw a picture of my parents when they were 30. It was of a party they had thrown at the house – with people laughing, making faces, and the table littered with red party cups in the background. I realized though I would have been about 8 years old at that time, and only saw my parents as “old mom and dad” they were actually the age I am now – young and vibrant. It reminded me they were fun people too, who liked to have a good time, just like I do now. And as they got older, they didn’t feel any different, just like I am experiencing now. I definitely do not feel 30. I feel about 20, and mentally have to remind myself that was a decade ago. So it’s easy to see how that feeling will grow exponentially with age.
10. You start to view older people as mentors, instead of rolling your eyes at things they say.
In my mid-20’s, I suddenly had quite a few older women in my life who acted as mother-figures, since my own mom passed away when I was 23. While I had matured quite a bit already, and had started to understand these older role models were usually right, I still didn’t agree with or like everything they had to say. Often times, I would have a hard time listening to them because I felt like the age gap was too large and I couldn’t relate to them. This has changed. A year ago I was at a Bible Study sitting at a table surrounded by these amazing women, and my perspective suddenly shifted. I realized what a wealth of wisdom was right there at my feet, to learn from. I no longer saw these women as “old” or “un-relatable”, but wise and experienced women with the heart of a 30 year old, just like me. And I found that I desperately wanted to learn from them.
11. YOU are now a role model.
I work with the youth at my church quite a bit. In my early 20’s, it was things like chaperoning or volunteering, not necessarily running the show. The older I’ve become, the more I have been pushed into a leader/teacher role. As I approach 30, I feel a much heavier weight of responsibility. I understand there are many young people who are watching me and looking up to me, listening to what I say. I also represent my church by singing on the worship team every Sunday morning. People know who I am and trust me. This also means I need to be more responsible with my life. I have the ability to influence, lead, and teach. This can be very rewarding, but it’s also very scary and requires great care.
12. You don’t have to be a student anymore…and if you are, at least it's for things you're actually passionate about.
I enjoyed college, but, I’m also pretty lazy. So I’ve constantly said for the past decade how happy I am to not be in school anymore. However, if I do ever decide to go back, it’s going to be for a very specific niche of my choice. No more Gen Ed classes, no more prerequisite courses. Just the meaty stuff. It’s amazing how much more enjoyable and easy the academic journey can be when it’s about something you actually like.
13. You're pretty sure you know what you want to be when you grow up.
even if you’re light years from getting there, or currently working in a completely different career from your dream and have no idea how you’re going to transition, you probably at least know what it is you REALLY want to do. I learned too late as a senior in college that I should have majored in something else. 8 years later, I’m still working at a job that’s related to the major I DID graduate with, all the while knowing it’s probably not the right fit for me. When I tell people that, they always ask what else I would be doing, and for years, my answer would be that I have no clue. That’s changed. I still have a few different paths of opportunity I’d like to explore, but I’ve narrowed that list down and have finally figured out what I really love and what I’m really good at.
14. You've finally figured out how to do your hair and makeup.
These high school girls who can do all sorts of crazy things with their hair baffle me. I could barely put mine in a ponytail at that age. And I’m horrified when I see pictures of myself with make up on at that age. What is up with all that eyeliner? Hadn’t I ever heard of a smudge brush? And honey, get an eyebrow waxing kit. I looked like Elvira and Brooke Shield’s love child. As I’ve matured, my beauty skills have vastly improved. I know how to properly contour and shade my eyeshadow. I’m still not great at the hair stuff, but Pinterest is starting to change that…
15. Your wisdom finally outweighs the mistakes you make.
In my 20’s, I made a lot of mistakes and learned from them. However, I wouldn’t always apply what I learned. I now knew when something was not a good idea, but I would do it anyway. As I approach my 30’s, I’m glad to say I’ve gotten better at this. Not only do I have the self-discipline to say no when I should, I have the wisdom to entirely avoid situations I know are not good for me. I still make mistakes, but I’ve found that when I do, they are smaller, less often, and don’t have consequences as severe. What a relief.
16. You can afford stuff.
Remember when you used to go to the store with your parents, or with college friends, and see things you want, and think “man I can’t wait for the day I will have my own money and I can buy myself things.” Well, that day is now. Granted, you probably can’t go buck wild…but you fancy eating out today? Go ahead. Harry Potter special edition box set released on Blu-Ray? Put that in my basket NOW. You can even go crazy and splurge once in a while on a new Coach purse, or new pair of Jimmy Choo’s.
17. Even though you have a steady paycheck, credit cards are still dangerous.
You’re finally almost debt-free, and you’ve proven yourself responsible by making payments on time for the past few years. Guess what that means? More card offers, limit increases, and bucket loads of temptation. Don’t give in.
18. You really start to not care what people think about you anymore.
Not everyone is going to like you. That’s ok. Haters gonna hate. I have learned that regardless of what I do or say, some people are going to think whatever they want about me, whether it’s right or wrong, and there’s nothing I can do about it. You’ll find that won’t slow me down at all, not anymore. Just smile, brush that stuff off, and keep moving.
19. My faith is my own.
In high school, many of us went to church because we grew up doing it or because our parents made us. In college, we had other priorities like joining acapella groups and tailgating at every home football game. Now, I go to church because I want to. Because it’s important to me. Because I LIKE it. Because I’ve taken responsibility for my own spiritual health. Because I’m done searching and have decided what I want to believe. Owning your faith is a very powerful and liberating thing.
20. Health and vitamins are important.
Your body does NOT work the same way it used to ten years ago. Sorry, but it’s true. Accept it. It takes a LOT more effort and care to keep it functioning smoothly now. Go see your doctor and get regular check-ups. Do your homework and figure out what exams you should start getting annually, especially considering your family history. Take a daily vitamin. In fact, get some blood work done and figure out what vitamins you’re deficient in and need most. Eat a better diet. Get regular exercise. Go see a therapist. FLOSS. Be proactive! Your body and mind will love you for it.
21. You have to be your own advocate sometimes.
You know yourself better than anyone else, and only you know when something isn’t right, whether it’s about your health, your personal life, or a social situation. Don’t let people tell you it’s ok or normal if you know it’s not. If you don’t feel good and doctors keep telling you you’re fine, keep getting a second opinion – or third or fourth – until you find one who will listen to you. If you are getting taken advantage of, working in a dead-end job with no end in sight, don’t let people tell you that’s part of corporate culture and it’s just how the world works – speak up and do something about it. Be prepared for certain times where no one else will have your back but YOU.
22. You like sunscreen.
And moisturizer. And basically anything else that you neglected to use diligently the past decade and are now realizing the consequences of. Aka wrinkles.
23. You are comfortable with your body.
In high school, one of my nicknames was “bubble-butt”. Seriously, it’s like its own shelf. It looks like Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce tried to squeeze into the same skirt back there. I used to HATE it, but the older I have become, the more I have learned to embrace it. College was the first time I was introduced to the concept that many men actually LIKE a meaty derriere. But it was still a difficult idea to grasp, and it hasn’t really been until my late 20’s that I’ve learned to work it. Ladies, and fellow badonkadonks of the world, WERK it. There are plenty of men who like all different body types, including one that is voluptuous.
24. You love sleep.
I would give anything to go back to kindergarten where naps were an expected and required part of your school/work day. Naps are magical and amazing.
25. The dreaded 2-day hangover.
It is real. The first day will be entirely spent in a pain-induced haze in bed or on the couch, trying to stay alive. The second day you will finally be able to get up and move around, possibly eat. After experiencing this phenomenon, you will think twice before over-indulging in the dizzy potions at your friend’s BBQ.
26. You've lost most of the girl drama and you know who your real friends are.
There’s a famous saying that for women, you are gathering friends in your 20’s, weeding them out in your 30’s, and need them the most in your 40’s. I would say there’s some truth to this. In the last decade, I’ve gone through quite a few friends, and my social clique has changed drastically many times. A lot of times, this is because people’s lives are just changing naturally – they move away for their job, or they start a family. Other times it’s because we realized we were different people and needed to part ways. As I enter my 30’s, I am happy to say I can confidently count at least 5 girlfriends that I know will always be there for me, and that I will remain friends with for life.
27. Dating is no longer just for fun.
In my early 20’s, my approach to dating had much less of a long-term vision. Sometimes you still dated people you knew probably didn’t have marriage potential, just because they were really fun or attractive. As I’ve approached 30, this has changed. Part of it is logistical – being a female, I feel like I have less time to waste as my window to have children narrows. But the other part of it is just learning how to guard your heart, and not want to waste your time or anyone else’s. Just because you meet someone of the opposite sex and you really like them, doesn’t mean you should date them. Sometimes those people are great just as friends. There’s really no point in dating someone you don’t think you would marry. This narrows the playing field A LOT, which can be a good and bad thing. I’ve had plenty of people tell me I’m too picky, but I don’t see it that way – I see it as having standards. Knowing what I want and what I deserve and not settling for anything less. And I think that’s healthy. I’d rather be alone than with someone I settled for.
28. Wine.
It’s everywhere. The phrase “let’s go wine-tasting this weekend” will become a staple in your social conversations. You will learn things about wine you thought you’d never know. You will start collecting wine accessories. Gone are the hard liquor days, and now you like to CLASS IT UP with wine. Lots and lots of wine. Wine!
29. Yoga Pants.
They’re wonderful. If I could wear them every day for the rest of my life, no matter where I was going, I would. This guy gets it.
30. You love yourself more.
Without sounding completely narcissistic, I AM AWESOME. I love me. I’m not always funny, but I laugh at funny things, I am a loyal friend, I kill it in karaoke, I do 5Ks even though I suck at long distance running, and I can name every Harry Potter spell spoken in the books. I love the woman I’ve grown into, who still knows how to act like a kid. I am more confident about myself now than I’ve ever been, and I’ve learned it’s ok to geek out over things I’m passionate about.
Well, there you have it – my list about turning 30. And would you look at that – there happen to be 30 items. You would think I planned it that way… ;-)
