Fragile

Couldn't sleep, wrote a short poem: 

I was describing this analogy to several people today, how I am beginning to feel like a broken vase that has been glued back together a few times. Then late tonight, I came across this: 

I have a feeling God was trying to tell me something...

"How Deep the Father's Love for Us"

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

“How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure.”
I doubt that we as humans will ever understand just how much God actually loves us. It is so great, we are unlikely to ever truly grasp the entirety of it while we are still in our earthly bodies. This hymn has always been one of my favorites, for its attempts to demonstrate the depth of God’s love, but even eloquently put as it is, the words still fall short.

I remember a camping trip I attended with the St. John’s youth as a counselor a few years back – it was in Kernville, and I had taken a short hike to the top of a hill, waiting as the “mountain guru” for the kids to find me so I could bestow some sage advice to them.

I remember sitting there in the quiet, waiting for the kids to show up, and looking out across the vast valley below me, and the words of Ephesians 3:17-19 coming into my head: “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge”. Well there was all the proof I needed that I would never understand how much He loved me – it said right there, “the love that surpasses knowledge”. But I looked out on that canyon and thought about how large it was – how high the mountains reached, how deep the valley was, and how utterly small I was. I pictured God’s hands, in the shape of a great big bowl like that valley, holding me. For a fleeting moment, I saw and felt the vastness of His love. And that wasn’t even the Grand Canyon!

“That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.”
These words strike me because they indicate the enormity of the price God was willing to pay for us. He chose to sacrifice something priceless, in order to redeem something worthless – sinners like us.

"How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away.”
Both Jesus and the Father were enduring pain during the crucifixion. The idea that God himself felt such pain that He couldn’t even bear to watch what they were doing to His beloved Child, grips my heart with guilt and sadness.

“It was my sin that held Him there.”
Lest I wonder why I should feel guilt, we are reminded in verse three that we are responsible for Jesus’s death on the cross. What a humbling thought – that it was our sin, and not the nails – that held Him there. Not even our sin – MY sin alone would have been enough. Even those we consider “good” had sin enough to keep Him nailed down.


“Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer.”
Sadly, these words are so true. I don’t even know why God would do something like this for me. The idea that I would receive anything from God but death is inconceivable.


“But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom.”
The suffering of Jesus paid a price. As a country still at war, we understand all too well the phrase “freedom is never free”. Nowhere is this more true than in what Christ did for us on the cross. He paid the price we should have, so that our freedom from sin would be eternal. How great to know that because of His deep love for us, we are free to walk with Him forever!  And I know, Lord. With all my heart.



My beloved Jesus, words cannot express my gratitude for the suffering You endured for me. Father God, never let me forget that You too, felt searing pain – so great that You were unable to watch Jesus suffer. I can never repay the debt I owe in return for You giving up Your only Son, but for some reason, You love me so much You have cancelled that debt through Jesus’s death. I cannot thank You enough. I only hope that the life I live now will reflect my love for You in return. And I do love You, so much, Lord. Amen.